


Sehnsucht

by starboyksy00



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mafia AU, Mentions of Violence, Pining, Slow Burn, but not too extreme, i guess, i'll add tags as i go, side meanie, soonwoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-12 16:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11741238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starboyksy00/pseuds/starboyksy00
Summary: Jihoon was all Soonyoung ever wanted, all he ever needed and all he ever asked for.





	1. He longs

Sehn·sucht _noun_  
ˈzānˌzo͝oKHt/  
— yearning; wistful longing.

At the age of 7, Soonyoung didn't really have many friends. It wasn't due to the fact that he had an extra strict dad, nor is it because of his equally strict sister and it's also definitely not because of the fact that he had tons of scary-looking-up-to-no-good brothers that chased the kids all away. Even though Soonyoung came from a big mafia family, he's still a great person. For Jihoon,  _he's still a great guy._

Strangely, Soonyoung was okay with it, just as long as he has his Jihoonie. Kwon Soonyoung was the sole heir of the top reigning clan in Namyangju, isolated from the world, he grew up to be quite a troublemaker. He was a headache for anyone who was out to look after him while his dad ran the business, horse riding the mafia lieutenant's back, a whoopie cushion for anybody who sat at the third closest seat to the boss.

The kid doesn't listen to anyone except his Jihoonie, he was completely enamored with him. He looked at Jihoon that it was as if he put up all the stars in the sky and he followed him around like a lost puppy.

They were also 7 when they first met. Jihoon who was clinging to her mothers' long skirt as he went inside the house that was guarded off by hundreds of different big and burly men. Men who were thrice as big as little Jihoon. His mother was set to cook for the feast the clan as part of the celebration for winning the last turf war and gaining almost half of the city as their territory. Jihoon's family owned a small chinese restaurant, it was one that was well known even though it was relatively new. Unfortunately for young Jihoon, his mom could not possibly leave him alone for the whole day. She had to bring the boy to work and close the shop for the day.

As the boy looked around his surroundings and took a tentative step inside the huge mansion, his mom's skirt clutched in his tiny little seven-year-old hands. He first saw a gigantic painting of an elegant family. He noticed that in the painting, there was a little boy who looked around his age who sported a bright smile, blindingly so.

It unconsciously eased Jihoon's heavy feeling upon entering. What he didn't notice was the little boy in the painting, Soonyoung, who was staring at him in awe, rooted at his place on top of the staircase. In Soonyoung's young and innocent mind, with the very little knowledge he knew about feelings, he was too certain that he fell in love.

Soonyoung wasn't sure how, but when he first saw the Jihoon's corner lips tugging in a small smile at the sight of his house, he felt his heart hammering against his chest. _Dug. Dug. Dug. Dug._ He liked the kid. Scrambling towards the kid wearing suspenders, Soonyoung gave his prettiest smile, nose crinkling, chinky eyes stretching up and pearly whites blinding

"Hi what's your name?" Soonyoung said, catching Jihoon off guard. Jihoon's mother replied for him. "His name is Jihoon," she answered.

"Jihoonie, why don't you go and play with with young master for the mean time, okay? Just for a little bit, while mom's working," she lightly told her son, giving him a small push towards Soonyoung.

"Hi," Soonyoung greeted testing the waters, he really wanted to be close with Jihoon and when he greeted him back shyly, he felt like he had saved the world from eternal damnation, he felt like a winner.

From then on, young Soonyoung only looked at Jihoon. He only cared about Jihoon, Jihoon was his everything. _Jihoon. Jihoon. Jihoon._

He'd always ask to play with Jihoon after school, hang out. Talk about the latest episode of spongebob where the square sponge would casually annoy squidward. It somehow reminded Soonyoung of their dynamics. Apart from the fact that he'd build a castle with Jihoon and make him, his other half.

 

* * *

 

  
Years passed, but Soonyoung is still pining over Jihoon. Somehow along the years of playing cat and dog with his Jihoon, his deep adoration and infatuation, turned into love. 

They in were in their second year in middle school. With Soonyoung as the fifth generation and sole heir of the clan, he was constantly pressured into taking over. His father isn't getting any younger, sooner or later, he'd have to take over the position. Soonyoung didn't want anything to do with that, he only wants a simple life, a family with Jihoon and the last thing he wants is to handle an entire empire.

"Jihoon, you're the only one he listens to. We can only rely on you to convince him to take over. If he doesn't what would happen to the family?" his Uncle Jeonghan begged, he has been serving under the Kwon family as the head lieutenant.

"We are at our wits end, you know we never ask too much from you, just this," Jihoon couldn't help but nod and agree. It'll be better for Soonyoung, anyway. He was a natural born leader, he'd be perfect leading the family into more victories.

"I'll try," he simply answered. Jihoon stood up and headed off. He had school tomorrow so it's probably best if he heads home now. Jihoon went to sleep that night filled with thoughts of Soonyoung as the boss. He would never admit it, but Soonyoung was always in his mind.

 

* * *

  

"You should accept the position," Jihoon told Soonyoung. They were standing at an overpass where no one really walks, looking down at the speeding cars. Soonyoung sighed, already done with the subject. He was pestered with this talk whenever he was home, he didn't need Jihoon pushing it.

"Where is this coming form? They asked you to talk to me didn't they?" he was frowing at Jihoon. While the other just continued looking at the cars passing. Pushing himself away from the railing where they were leaning on, exhaling another resigned sigh. Soonyoung started to walk away.

"Come on Jihoon, let's not talk about this here," he slowed down walking, patiently waiting for Jihoon to catch up to him. On the other hand, Jihoon was already grabbing Soonyoung's arm.

"So where do you want to talk about this?" he said, clearly mad at Soonyoung for walking away. "Sooner or later, you're gonna have to—"

"I won't do it. I already told you, I just want a simple life with you. Running a mafia family would only complicate things. I only want you, nothing else" he said this with conviction, staring right into Jihoon's eyes. Soonyoung seemed so sure about building a family with Jihoon and living a normal life. It scared Jihoon.

"I told you never to say such things like that," Jihoon said clearly shying away from the topic. "You should tell your girlfriend that."

Soonyoung scoffed at Jihoon, he still can't believe the fact that Jihoon wouldn't believe him. They stood there for a few silent seconds before Soonyoung removed Jihoon's hand that was clutching his hands and intertwined it with his. He cupped Jihoon's cheeks using the other and positioned Jihoon's face so they were looking eye to eye.

"I don't want a girlfriend, I want you," he then proceeded to lean forward slightly. Jihoon flushed red beet. He couldn't believe Soonyoung would say that and when he noticed Soonyoung leaning closer, it brought a little sense to him and lightly pushed him a little, before running away. 

Soonyoung just stood there at the middle of an empty overpass with cars underneath passing by, completely heartbroken. He remained standing there contemplating everything for a while before heading home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was based on the anime tight rope. I thought of soonhoon while watching it, so might as well write it for them. Go watch it lol its da bomb


	2. He cares

Young Soonyoung was trained to be a great leader. He maybe a huge softie for Jihoon but that doesn't mean he can't be ruthless especially with matters regarding the family business. Although he has made it clear that he sees no point running the business if he wants to marry Jihoon, that doesn't mean he entirely doesn't care about his family. After all it was the people who nurtured and protected him. His alpha instincts just come off naturally.

So when the son of the second general of the family, who was also his childhood friend, Wonwoo was held back, possibly getting a blustering browbeating from kids who were about a year above them, Soonyoung flared up.

"What the heck are you doing to Wonwoo?" he uttered and the guys who were hitting his bestfriend noticeably tensed at the sound of his voice. Wonwoo's eyes staring directly at his asking for help.

Soonyoung was most of the time, tame. Well, Soonyoung does want to impress Jihoon. When they were kids, Jihoon would always point out that he shouldn't hit people, it was bad blah blah blah... but it did grew on him. Jihoon was and is still the reason why he wants to live a normal life away from the mafia. Jihoon has always called Soonyoung off but what he doesn't understand why Jihoon was now asking him to accept the position. Does he really want Soonyoung off his back that much?

He wasn't known as the 5th Generation Kwon, it was a kept as a secret and only people associated to the family knew, but Soonyoung is known as someone who was an expert in fighting. He bagged taekwondo awards and won at the nationals when he was as young as ten. Nobody dared cross him, even if he was yet to be a boss.

"Well Soonyoung, we heard that you're the sole heir to the Kwons. Who would've thought that Jihoon's love sick puppy would be the 5th generation boss," said the guy who has Wonwoo's shirt fisted in his left hand. He was the one who was punching Won while his mutts held Wonwoo back. He probably knew that he alone couldn't handle the second general's son. He then smirked at Won before letting him go roughly and faced Soonyoung.

"Listen Seungwoo, I don't have time for your jealous ass. Let Wonwoo go," Soonyoung stated. He knew Seungwoo was pushing it. He was milking a reaction out of Soonyoung. Son of a minor rival gang Seungwoo who was like Soonyoung, madly head over heels Jihoon, of course he'd be jealous and he wants Ji for himself.

"Okay Soonyoung watch your back, I'll be coming for you," his minions then released Wonwoo. He was out of breath it was obvious Wonwoo wasn't feeling well, if he wasn't sick, Seungwoo's minions could not possibly hold him down.

Wonwoo was his and Jihoon's bestfriend. They always had each others back. Even as little kids, Wonwoo would always be with Soonyoung. They were inseparable. Seeing Won jacked up pissed Sponyoung off, but he couldn't fight yet. Not yet, especially if the boss's powers are being passed on to him, not that he plans to accept it. He cannot afford getting too much attention.

"I'm sorry I couldn't kick their ass yet Wonwoo, you know the situation," he said after touching Won's shoulder, trying to patch him up. Wonwoo visibly flinching after Soonyoung touched a part where he was sore.

"It's fine, we'll get back to them when you're the boss," he said as he smiled at Soonyoung. Soonyoung smiled too, it was unfortunately a forced one.

 

* * *

  
Jihoon, thinks Soonyoung was just another passing infatuation. He thinks they were just puppy crushing mutually with each other, that once they grow up, they'd find other people that they would genuinely like. He tried to distance himself from Soonyoung. He always told him that he could only offer friendship, he didn't mean it. So when Soonyoung showed up a few weeks later after the 'overpass incident' in front of their home beaten black and blue, Jihoon went out to meet him hot on his heels and brought him inside his room.

"What happened?" Jihoon said, boy was he mad. He sat Soonyoung on his bed and as he sat, he threw his arms around Jihoon hugged his waist and rested his left cheek at Jihoon's tummy.

"Jihoonie's shirt feels so soft, your tummy feels soft, you feel soft," Soonyoung said as he nuzzled Ji further. _God he was so in love at Jihoon_.

"It feels so nice to have you patch me up and see you at the end of the day."

Soonyoung stood up and hugged Jihoon so tight. He then held Jihoon in arms length and stared at his eyes for a good while before smiling and kissing Jihoon's forehead. Jihoon couldn't say anything he stared back at Soonyoung with his brows furrowed but when Soonyoung kissed it, it slightly bubbled away. His cheeks just burned a little but he decided to shrug it away.

"I'm asking you what happened, Soonyoung," he said as he removed Soonyoung's hands away from him and went to his bathroom to fetch his first aid kid, Jihoon saw Soonyoung sitting back to his bed and looked around a little.

"I went to Seungwoo's fortress or whatever, if he thinks he can get away for what he did to Wonwoo, he must be delusional so I gave them a beating or two" he said as he clinged back to His precious Jihoonie. Jihoon who was slightly taken aback from what Soonyoung just said.

" _You what?_ You went there alone? Seungwoo has like a good dozen of minions, what the hell were you thinking?" he screamed at Soonyoung. Honestly he didn't like it whenever Soonyoung made rash decisions. _Soonyoung was an idiot._

"Ji it's fin—" he said as he sat on the edge of Jihoon's bed.

"What do you mean _'it's fine_ ' it's absolutely not fine—" Jihoon continued on rambling about the dangers and such. "You could've been sacked, what were you thinking going there alone?"

He pressed on Soonyoung's busted lip with cotton, mumbling, clearly mad with whatever the hell was going through Soonyoung's mind and telling him that he'd lost his marbles. While Jihoon may look mad, Soonyoung knew he was just worried.

Honestly, if Jihoon was ice cream, he would've melted because of the intensity of Soonyoung's stare.

" _You know, I can't understand you."_

"You don't want me to fight, but you want me to accept the position. You're all of these contradictions, Jihoon. You push me away, then take care of me. You tell me that I should find another lover, but you still have this tight grip on me. It's so hard to cope up," he linked his fingers with Jihoon's free ones and filled the gaps. Jihoon glanced at him before looking away.

"Shut up," he then freed his hands from Soonyoung's and took a step backwards before speaking again.

"You should head home, I'm sure they're all worried," he then raised his hands on his temples. Soonyoung stood up and walked towards him.

He snaked his hands around Jihoon's waist and pulled him closer to him. He put Jihoon's hand down and aligned their foreheads, nose to nose, lips almost touching.

"Don't worry too much about it, Ji. You maybe all contradictions but you're worth every bit of the trouble," he then stole a light kiss on Jihoon's lips before moving away and heading towards the door leaving a very shaken Jihoon who was frozen still, staring straight into nothing, fingers lightly touching his lips.

 

* * *

 

"So what happened," Jihoon looked at Mingyu quizzically, slightly flustered by Mingyu's sudden question. He first stuffed his face with the ever bland cafeteria lunch they got before he replied.

"What? What happened?" he said which led to tiny bits flying off his mouth. All in an effort to avert the conversation and possibly switch topics. Jihoon obviously didn't like talking about Soonyoung.

"Here I was thinking I was the disgusting one," Mingyu said clearly disgusted by the chunks that flew on his face. Jihoon was stabbing the pork cutlet on his plate shoving it on his face and avoiding Mingyu's gaze. Jihoon isn't really in the mood to talk about the butterflies he gets whenever Soonyoung does a thing or two around him.

"Stop playing innocent, you know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about hurricane Soonyoung over there," they both looked towards Soonyoung's direction. He was the with Wonwoo as usual, probably chatting about Stranger Things and it's new season. Jihoon thinks Soonyoung is such a hype man.

"What about Soonyoung?" sighing before finally giving up and asking about it. Jihoon took a sideways glance at Soonyoung and Wonwoo again and they were looking over him. Wonwoo mouthing words to Soonyoung that looked too similar to the phrase ‘you are so whipped'.

He went back to eating, it was probably just a puppy crush or infatuation. Jihoon didn't want to believe that Soonyoung would be too sure about them being together. He liked to think that Soonyoung just depended on him a lot that's why he's so infatuated on him.

_The thing is, Jihoon is stubborn, no matter how many times Soonyoung told him he loved him to the moon and back, he wouldn't believe it._

“You were talking to me on phone yesterday right and I overheard him calling from outside your house before you ended the call and look at you now, of course something must’ve happened” Mingyu stated with a tone that sounded like he was stating pure facts, which is true. He must've heard Soonyoung screaming blue outside.

It wasn't a rare sight to see. Jihoon's parents were used to the mafia’s heir staying overnight, sleeping at Jihoon's room. They were childhood bestfriends after all, it would be a shock if they haven't slept over each other's house for atleast once.

“Nothing happened,” Jihoon sounded stone hard. He really doesn't want to talk about it. He hopes that the closed off expression is enough cue for Mingyu to stop pushing it.

“Oh come on,” Mingyu looks equally resigned but still too curious about it to give it a rest.

“What? Nothing really happened,” answered Jihoon. Mingyu was a naturally pushy person and Jihoon can actually bear with him. Jihoon was patient, he can bear Mingyu’s annoying persona, but at this point there was nothing Jihoon ever really wanted in the world rather than punching Mingyu square in the face or maybe hitting him with a guitar.

“Nothing happened but you're trippy over him?” he said quirking a brow over Jihoon and then shoving food into his mouth. After all, Mingyu may be a pushy asshole, but lunch is important.

“Whenever he walks into the room you tense up,” he added before finishing the last bits of his meal. Giving Jihoon all 100 percent of his attention.

“I do not,” Mingyu looked like he already knew. He had a knowing smirk slowly creeping up his face. Jihoon really wanted to smash his guitar to him.

“Okay, I’m not gonna push it anymore,” he finally said. Jihoon felt like the weight of a ten ton truck was finally lifted off his chest. He wasn't in the hot seat anymore. He can finally eat his lunch quietly.

“Finally, thank you,” Jihoon said as he drank a glass of water.

“Just know that when you need someone to talk to I'm here,” Mingyu reminded him, towhich Jihoon nodded at. There was really no point reminding Jihoon. Next to Soonyoung, Mingyu was Jihoon's bestfriend. If he were to open up to someone of course it's probably gonna be with Mingyu. He trusted the boy with all of his heart.

"Also do you know the raven haired guy Soonyoung's always with?" he piped up.

"Tall but not as tall as me, deep eyes that talk to you, resting bitch face, extremely mysterious but also extremely hot? Ring any bells?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is unedited please, I'll edit it sooooooon sorry


	3. He loves

 

Jihoon has always been running away. He was 8 when he first discovered baseball, he loved it. Jihoon saw 10 year-olds playing catch and swinging the bat, he was hooked. He earnestly watches them practice after class, but he was always too scared of the ball to try it out. He wouldn't be able to be the top catcher that he is now if it weren't for Soonyoung. Jihoon thinks he won't make it, if it weren't for Soonyoung. He would've ran away from the ball and wouldn't even try catching it if it weren't for Soonyoung following him around and screaming motivation, being the embarrassing groupie that he is.

They were 15 when Jihoon was chosen to present a self composed song on their school fest. People knew how much Jihoon loved writing songs, how much of a music junkie he was, how at the age of 15, he could play at least 5 instruments. He refused point blank when he was offered. Nobody in his class could convince him, all except Soonyoung. Jihoon knew he was a sucker, he was a sucker for Soonyoung that is. If the older were to ask something and bat his eyelashes at him, he’d gladly jump off a building, not that he'd admit it or anything.

It was so easy for Soonyoung to talk Jihoon off to playing at the fest. Jihoon obliged, Soonyoung sat him down one day, asking when Jihoon would play one of his songs for him. Flushed beet red, Jihoon crossed his arms as he looked away from Soonyoung.

“Watch the school fest and you’ll hear one,” Jihoon did perform at the fest. His eyes never leaving Soonyoung’s while he sung. It was his song for Soonyoung after all, his Soonyoung who he loves so dearly. His muse, his inspiration, but he won't tell Soonyoung that. He couldn't tell him that the song was made while he thought of him.

He was scared of Soonyoung’s power over him. He likes to dismiss the possibility that Soonyoung would like him. Little did he know Soonyoung loved him, more than anything, more than the world, to the moon and back, maybe even a little bit more than what he could possibly imagine.

Point is, Jihoon has been running away from a lot of things that he loves and if Soonyoung wasn't there to keep him grounded, he probably would've been running away from everything. Jihoon also knows that he's been running away from his feelings for Soonyoung for a while now. Jihoon maybe good at math, but he sucks with feelings and emotions. He's been called emotionally constipated for so many times, he can't even keep track.

He denies. He likes to deny the fact that he is completely and utterly inlove with Soonyoung since they were 10. He tried swallowing down the lump in throat and tears stained face when Soonyoung’s face was in front of him, he looked worried for Jihoon after getting hit in the shoulder by a speeding ball of cement pitched by kids much older than them. The ball hit Soonyoung’s shoulder instead of Jihoon's face because he blocked it.

It was as if he cared more about Jihoon's welfare than his. Jihoon didn’t understand why Soonyoung had to jump in and protect him but what Jihoon did knew was why his heart was beating erratically in his chest and he knows it wasn't because his nose was almost broken by an accelerating ball of cement, it was probably because of Soonyoung’s eyes worriedly staring at his and checking him up to see if he was in pain.

Jihoon couldn't deny it anymore, not when his heart wants to jump out of his chest.

 

* * *

 

“Soonyoung is getting his ass handed to him by Seungwoo again,” Mingyu says apprehensively. Hurried and panicked, he grabs Jihoon’s wrist and drags him.

“He’s what—” Jihoon tries to shrug Mingyu’s death grip on him and possibly get some answers. Mingyu just shakes his head and not even bothering to spare him a glance.

When they got there, Soonyoung was definitely outnumbered. Not to mention the fact that Seungwoo has an extremely buff body built. There were atleast 9 people with him all crowding Soonyoung, but Soonyoung isn't a mafia heir for nothing. He's actually putting up a fight well.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Seungwoo says.

If there's anything Jihoon would so gladly avoid, it’s Seungwoo professing his love for Jihoon every five minutes. It's not that Soonyoung is any different, Soonyoung is Soonyoung, they’ve been friends since they were kids, the idea that Soonyoung would like Jihoon is a pretty impossible picture to paint for him. Even though like Seungwoo, he confesses every time.

“My precious Jihoonie, what are you doing here? Do you want to see him black and blue? I bet you do, it's so annoying to hear that he likes you too. Imagine the glory if I get to mark him with my fist,” Seungwoo adds as he has a two of his minions grabbing Soonyoung before he roughly grabs Soonyoung’s face as he smirks while saying this. He tuts at Soonyoung before he throws a punch.

“What are you doing?” Jihoon screams as Seungwoo continues to punch Soonyoung. Jihoon was clutched tight by Mingyu, who was frozen in shock.

“Let me go Mingyu,” he thinks Mingyu can't hear him. His fingers were ice cold and his shoulders were tense. Before Jihoon could hit Mingyu, a familiar voice started talking.

“Soonyoung, I leave for a bit and you get punched while I’m away. Let's get this over and done with, our ice creams would melt,” Wonwoo says before he hands Jihoon the melonas that he bought. Soonyoung finally smiles. From when they got here, Soonyoung had that poker face. Jihoon knew a list of possible reasons why Soonyoung was holding back but after Wonwoo got here, it seems that Wonwoo was the reason why he wasn't really fighting back but instead he was warding them off.

“You took forever, they were getting way ahead of their head. Also your boyfriend looks so scared,” Soonyoung says as he nods in Mingyu’s direction and for the first time since Jihoon got here, Soonyoung smiles. He smiles apologetically. He mouths sorry to Jihoon.

Jihoon knew Soonyoung has nothing to be sorry for. There's always a price for everything and this is the price for being an heir to such a big clan.

“He's not my boyfriend,” Wonwoo says before he starts punching Seungwoo’s minions. Before they knew it he already retreated in fear for his friends.

Mingyu finally snaps out of it and he starts to flush beet red and stare at Wonwoo because of what Wonwoo said ealier, Wonwoo just pats the dirt out of his pants and Soonyoung lunges at Jihoon for a hug. He smiles at Jihoon like nothing just happened. Jihoon finally gets to breathe, he didn't knew he was holding it off until now.

“Jihoonie, you’re here. Come and eat melona with us,” Soonyoung quips as Wonwoo looks at them while Soonyoung bear hugs Jihoon. One thing Jihoon would never understand is Soonyoung and Wonwoo’s tandem. They were already friends even before he knew Soonyoung, they were two peas in a pod, inseparable. They always have each other's back.

If anything, Jihoon would think they were together. With the way Wonwoo looks at Soonyoung, He’s too charming and endearing that Jihoon wouldn't be surprised if one day, the boy tells him he likes Soonyoung.

 

* * *

 

“I know you like Soonyoung,” Mingyu tells Wonwoo. There was silence, deafening silence. He knows he shouldn't have said that.

“Really? What gave it away?” Wonwoo says nonchalantly as he eats his ice cream while eyeing Soonyoung and Jihoon. A slight tinge of envy paints his eyes, it was a tiny flicker of Wonwoo’s monumental vulnerability, but it was gone before Mingyu could realize.

“I know a love struck look when I see one, you’re actually pretty good masking it,” Mingyu says before he walks over to Jihoon and Soonyoung. Quickly pulling Jihoon away from Soonyoung’s grasp before he leads him to their class.

Mingyu was right, Wonwoo is inlove with Soonyoung. He loves him even more than the way Jihoon could possibly love Soonyoung. Wonwoo has loved Soonyoung ever since they were little kids and now an blink away from adulthood, Wonwoo still loves him like they were 5 when Soonyoung sat next to him on the swing, smiling brighter than the sun. Mingyu was absolutely right. Wonwoo loves Soonyoung.

 

 


End file.
